Help! I think my mentor is giving me bad advice

As someone who has been both an entrepreneur and on a mission to progress through an organization, I have sought advice on frequent occasions from individuals I consider successful by multiple definitions.

By Sidnee Peck, Director

Center for Entrepreneurship

As someone who has been both an entrepreneur and on a mission to progress through an organization, I have sought advice on frequent occasions from individuals I consider successful by multiple definitions.

When I speak with my mentors, both one-time advisers and people I go to on a regular basis, I often receive conflicting guidance, or worse, guidance that feels really off base for me. It can be stressful to navigate through information from experienced, wise and highly successful people because there’s no way I know better than they — right?

So here’s my strategy when smart people weigh in with different opinions:

• Identify what you’re trying to learn. Before meeting with any adviser or mentor, spend some time with your best adviser: you. Write down the challenges or decisions you are facing and what is so difficult about each. Be honest with yourself this is not the time to put on a pretty face or impress anyone.
• Know whom you should go to for what. Once you know what you’re trying to learn, put these things into buckets like “strategic growth challenges,” or “work/life balance” or “cash flow.” Then, go through your list of role models and influencers and write down the three top people you would love to meet with on that specific topic. There are likely many people in your life who have had unique experiences and have a lot to show for it, but not very many who have had the same experiences as you with the same life factors, constraints and considerations. For example, if you’re struggling with work/life balance, think of someone who has a similar lifestyle as you (family, travel, exercise habits) and who, as a result, may face similar trials. The more time you spend with the right person, the more worthwhile the information is going to be.
• Ask more than one person and don’t rush into action. We are all human and we are all influenced by our own biases and realities as we view life through a personal lens. To avoid making your decision based on someone else’s reality, asking two or three of your mentors for guidance on a major challenge or decision will help you pull out consistencies that you can take as best practices, not personal experiences.

Finally, listen to your gut. Mentors and advisors have the best intentions and may have a wealth of knowledge, but they will still never be you, in your life, living with your consequences. And if a mentor brings negative energy and seems to be giving you advice that regularly fails to align with your values, dump them!

Don’t have a mentor? Explore people who impress you and ask them to coffee or lunch. Starting a conversation is the best way to see if they may be a fit for you in the future. There doesn’t have to be an awkward moment when you say, “Will you be my mentor?” Just talk!

"Getting Started" is an entrepreneurship column by the faculty of the W. P. Carey School of Business at Arizona State University. Sidnee Peck is the director of the Center for Entrepreneurship, which presents the 19th annual Spirit of Enterprise Awards Luncheon Nov. 20 at the JW Marriott Phoenix Desert Ridge Resort & Spa. Register at wpcarey.asu.edu/spirit. First published in The Arizona Republic, October 19, 2015.