Find your 'go-to' person for advice about career and life

We all need a “go-to” person when times are tough or when we encounter an ambiguous or political situation. A “go-to” person is someone we rely on for expert advice, knowledge or assistance in an important situation. They are reliable: they help us avoid pitfalls that we might overlook because we are too close to a situation and because they often possess complimentary skills to our own.

By Angelo Kinicki  |  Weatherup/Overby Chair in Leadership

We all need a “go-to” person when times are tough or when we encounter an ambiguous or political situation. A “go-to” person is someone we rely on for expert advice, knowledge or assistance in an important situation. They tend to reliable; for example, a basketball player like LeBron James, who is asked to score at crucial times in a basketball game.

They help us avoid pitfalls that we might overlook because we are too close to a situation and because they often possess complimentary skills to our own. A good “go-to” person can help us both at work and home. For example, many of us ask close friends for input about our relationships with spouses, children and other friends. Let’s consider how our choice of a “go-to” person can help or hinder our success. An owner of a successful spa decided to expand his business by opening a related business down the street from the original location. As he hired more employees and learned the details of the new business, he ended up spending more time working in the new business.

This created customer service issues in the spa. When I asked who was helping manage the spa, he said that he used an informal “go-to” employee for input and guidance. Unfortunately, he selected this person based on tenure, not managerial skills. The spa suffered financially, and employee motivation declined. An executive was promoted to lead a new sales organization.

She had several new employees to manage and her responsibilities grew from managing one large client to now overseeing all sales across the U.S. In addition, her sales goals were increased by 10 percent during a down market. This leader called her coach and the two of them brainstormed a 30-day plan for organizing and motivating employees. Employees reacted positively to the plan and ultimately achieved their short-term goals. The manager continues to use the coach as her “go-to” source for guidance in handling important organizational issues.

My “go-to” person depends on the context. When I need advice on consulting a client or feedback on my writing, like writing this column, I seek Joyce’s advice. Joyce is my wife and business partner, and she has great insight and wisdom about such matters. When I need input on something related to teaching, I seek the counsel of two great teachers. Both of them are friends and have received awards for their teaching skills. Are all “go-to” people equally effective? No, as evidenced by my spa and sales examples. When choosing your “go-to” person, keep in mind that the following five characteristics are essential.

Knowledgeable.

Having knowledge and experience about the matter at hand is important. Remember that people have varying levels of knowledge about different topics, and don’t overgeneralize. For example, I am frequently asked about my opinion about the economy because I am a professor and consultant. I’m not very helpful about such matters because my specialty is employee behavior and leadership, not economics. Seek the counsel of people who are knowledgeable about the issue under consideration.

Good judgment.

People with good judgment are able to accurately assess situations, evaluate the pros and cons of alternative solutions and to objectively and wisely make decisions. Would you ask someone for managerial advice if they never managed anyone? You are better served by someone with demonstrated success within the context of the issue being evaluated. People with good judgment also have the ability to control their emotions when providing advice and making decisions.

Maintains confidentiality.

You’ve heard the phrase that “loose lips sink ships.” In the present context, a good “go-to” person is someone who keeps confidences and won’t repeat conversations to others. It’s important that we can trust others to keep sensitive conversations private. Without this level of trust, it may be hard to truly open up to someone up while seeking advice.

Honest and forthright.

We are most helped when others are honest with us about our strengths and limitations. A good “go-to” person uses assertive compassion when providing constructive feedback. In other words, they tell it like it is, but they remember that they hold your heart in their hands. Empathetic skills would also be an important skill to use when providing feedback.

Sees the bigger picture.

There can be many sides to a situation, and a good “go-to” person assists us in seeing alternatives. Choose someone who can foresee the pros and cons of various alternatives in a situation. Good counsel comes from someone who can see multiple sides to a situation. So, “who ya gonna call” when life gets tough or confusing? Not the “Ghostbusters!” Call your carefully selected “go-to” person.

First published in The Arizona Republic, August 1, 2015.